Today has not been fun. It has not been grand. It has not been Tuesday.
Yesterday, after talking to the darling Pumpkin, who was
I woke up and did not want to get out of bed. So I didn't. The farmer took schnorbie off to school and got Wommy and Mousie ready for the day.
At 9am, I decided it was time to make an appearance. Out of guilt more than anything.
I then decided I really didn't want to get dressed. So I didn't, and bummed around in my PJ's instead.
At lunch I contemplated getting dressed, knowing I would need to leave soon after. I still didn't.
Then we got a huge storm, and the power went out.
I should have taken all of this a sign. I usually listen to the universe, but today I didn't even notice it's voice.
I jumped in the shower, got dressed, was unable to do my hair because I had no power, so threw it up in a band and pulled off my best hobo look, and went on my merry way.
I got maybe half way to the many horse town.
I was on a stretch of serpentine road, when I came to a van in front of me, driving slow. Driving ALL OVER THE ROAD. It was busy today, really busy.
I slowed right down, keeping a good distance from this beat up car as it spent time on the wrong side of the road, so when the inevitable accident happened I had enough time to brake and not get caught up in it.
I watched, wondering if there was going to be a safe time to pass this car. Wondering what the hell the driving was thinking. Squinting into the car to see if maybe he was asleep.
I finally got to an overtaking lane. I was still a bit unsure about overtaking, all I really wanted to do was pull up on the side of the road and let this car get waaaaay ahead of me, but there was no where to stop.
I started to pull into the overtaking lane. Holding my breath. Keeping an eye still on the stupid van in front. As I came up beside it, he tried to side swipe me. Completely throwing his van into me. I hooked the wheel. I completely lost my bearings because I didn't even realise I was facing back the direction I came. I sat there, hands still on my steering wheel, shaking. Thanking god for my Pop always telling me to watch the other cars when your driving.
I heard yelling. LOUD. I looked out my window and there was a the van, in the middle of the road where it shouldn't have been. I could see the two occupants standing on the road. One of them coming towards me. Shouting. Carrying something.
When the car was driving in front of me, I could see something hanging out the passengers window, and couldn't work out what it was. Now I knew.
The man walking towards me was carrying a bloody shotgun!
Have you ever noticed the size of those things? They are huge. they are not pretty. they are scary as hell. I feel sorry for all the animals, the kangaroo's and rabbits that I even witnessed shot with one of these.
As if by magic. By sheer will. By a stroke of luck, or my guardian angel, a highway patrol car was travelling a few cars behind me, and saw the whole thing and had the lights and sirens blazing before I could even vomit. Which is all I wanted to do. And soon did.
Shock is a fucked up thing. Shaking uncontrollably, vomiting, ears popping, stomach cramps and uncontrollable bowel movements, did you know that even your finger nails change colour?
The police were wonderful, as they begged me to go to the hospital.
They checked over my car, and made sure I hadn't damaged anything while I was channeling my inner Fast and The Furious, and that my tires were still safe. They gave me juice. And they arrested to morons.
The funny thing is, at the time, I wasn't scared. Or maybe I was. I don't really remember.
What I do know is, that right now, its been the scariest day of my life.
Closing my eyes is scary.
One thing is for so sure, I am going to go back to listening to the universe. I don't know why I chose not to today, when it was practically screaming at me.