Wednesday, December 8, 2010

I can see clearly now

It's getting to that dreaded time of year again for me. The anniversary of my mum's passing.
This time is of year is always a struggle for me, and I spend so much time worrying about the rest of my family. My sisters were young when my mum passed, so this time is always hard for them. It is really brought to light the things that they have missed out on, the greiving they didn't get a chance to do/didn't know how to do because they were so young ( 10 and 14). It always makes me feel so lucky, yet so gulity for all the things that I got to have her around for. Puberty, my graduation, the birth of my 1st child.

It took me a long time to come to terms with her death, even though I spent years watching it slowly happen. I guess, until it happened, somewhere within me I never actually believed that it would.

I have mentioned before that my mum planned her funeral. And I have recently realised what she was trying to tell us by doing so.
I know so many people that are going through a similar thing, and I cant imagine how many that I don't know are going through it also. So I wanted to share this with you. To share her message. To share what has helped me with all the  Why did this happen, and It's so unfair's.

Please, listen to this song. I know we have all heard it, but please REALLY  listen to it.

Listen to the lyrics.

Getting the message??

My mum chose to have this played as she was being carried out to the hearse. And let me tell you now, at that moment, it was the single most horrendous thing ever!

For YEARS I couldn't listen this song. I would break down to a blubbering mess.

Now, after trying to remove myself from the pain, and looking at that moment as the last that I had with her, I realise what she was saying to us.

Passing was the best thing that could have happened to her at that time. She was happy.
The rain had gone, the dark clouds had disappeared.
We needed to make it a bright sun sunny day! And live our lives that way.

While it still hurts to listen to this, and to think about that day, while I still have tears in my eyes now from listening to that song, and feeling the memories, it has also got me past years of grieving.

Through the years of depression, this was there to save me all along, I just needed to look a little deeper rather than just skimming the surface.

Whatever you are going through, remember it's like crossing the road. You must Stop, Look and Listen.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Generation Sunny!

What is wrong with the world these days?
I mean seriously, what the HELL is going on?
This post has been working its way around my head for a while now, but tonight, its exploding.

It seems I have read one too many blog posts over the past week while being stuck at home due to flood water. And it has done my head in.
While, by writing this, I am probably not any better than the people that have come before me, but I do feel that I have a message to get out there, and it's not the one that is being sent through so many 'mummy blogs' lately!

Now, the parenting judgment has been going on for a while, and I must admit, that I can get caught up in it too, especially having an early childhood background, its very easy to pick up peoples flaws, but I have learnt to not judge. That parenting isn't as easy as it may seem on the outside. Take a deeper look......

What has really P****d me off though, is hearing EVERYONE putting mothers down. For sooooo many different reasons! It truly is disgusting. Who cares which school your child goes to, What school shoes you buy for them, if they have brand name bloody socks! Seriously!!!

We are so busy putting each other down, and picking on our own, and other peoples faults, while at the same time using a quote that I'm sure has hit every mummy blog that I have seen

                             .... ' We are raising the next generation'.....

We certainly are. And this is something we should be mindful of. But, I ask you to look at it in a different light to others, I ask you to think about this.

We are raising the next generation.
We need to show them how to be the best person THEY can be. Not be better than their neighbour.
We need to teach them love and happiness. Tolerance and kindness.
We need to teach them friendship, to stand together. To fight for their beliefs.
We need to teach them to never give up.

To teach them this, we need to show them this!

The next generation will learn through our actions.

So rather than criticising your neighbour for the way they might be parenting, because they are after all bringing up the next generation, remember, you are bringing UP the next generation also. And the next generation is watching YOU!.

If you want to join a brilliant group of women, who always look for the sun, and try and find the rays in every cloud, you need to join the Sunny Mummy Sisterhood! Help us to spread the rays, and teach the next generation that sunshine really is good for you! Help to bring UP the next generation.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Birthdays and Busy!

Life has been so crazy here lately! We have had so many visitors (which has been LOVELY) and with school winding up and preparing for xmas I feel that I have barely seen the light of day!
Oh wait, hold on, thats right, now I remember where those last few weeks have gone... I WENT INTO BUSINESS!!! Yep, website completed, gorgeous products sourced and being sourced and Little Willows is now officially open for business! ( So if you are looking for something unique, pretty, practical and affordable for xmas stop by for a look *plug plug*).

After all the years out here with no rain, we finally have a broken drought.... but it has decided to really break while everyone is trying to harvest, which means that they cant, which means they aren't much better off than they were in drought! Ah the joys of life and the things we cant control!

We recently celebrated Miss Maggies 1st ever 'Happy Day'!!! It was full of excitment from everyone and she had sucha  wonderful day - in between naps!

I visited my sister the weekend before Maggies b'day and lucky I did, as I found the most devine little dress in a childrens boutique that suits her down to the ground! Isn't it funny how kids have their own style from so early on, Miss Elliot is very hip, funky and fashionable, she looks gorgeous in bright colours and groovy outfits! Little Maggie however is the Vintage and classic queen!  Floral? Yes. Handknits? Hell YES! Outfits my father wore as a baby? Oh my YES YES YES!

So for her Happy Day I managed to find this little number and it was Maggie to a T!

In the all the hustle and bustle we have had lately, now, at the end of post, I am remembering again why I am truly blessed! What an amazing few weeks we have had, what huge accomplishments we have made, and how lucky are we to have each other!

With much love.... until next time....

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Little Pleasures

I stayed up way too late last night! When we hit the pillows, for some reason we started talking about how we met, how we fell in love, how, while it didn't seem like it at the time, we were engaged at the blink of an eye (ummm 4 months!) and how we have always done things a bit different from the rest of the world but we wouldn't change a thing!

My dear husband packed his overnight bag and headed out the door early this morning. I am NOT a morning person! When I have to get up early, I enjoy that I did, and think I should do it everyday. Then every other day arrives, and the call of sleep is far too great.
So hubby partially wakes me with a kiss this morning, at not quite 6am. He must have been able to tell that I was in no way ready to get up. I heard something about 'I will call you and wake you up when I get to Trundle'.

This I must say IS the nicest way to start a morning. And he does it whenever he is away. Sometime between 6-7am, when he gets a spare 5mins, he calls home, the phone is generally answered with a mumble or a grunt, and then I eventually become concious and get woken with the sound of his voice telling me that he loves me and its a beautiful day!

He also knows, that when he is at home, not to bother waking me unless the kettle is on, as if I cant hear that noise, there is no chance of getting me out of bed!

While I am the first to admit, that I do have those 'I want, I need, We should go......' moments, and while I know that I am spoilt rotten by my darling family, it's these things I truly treasue.

These are the things that truly make me know that I am deeply loved. 

The things that I can keep safely in my heart, not my jewellery box.

These are just some of lifes Little Pleasures.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Spring has Sprung

Whilst hanging out my washing today, I stopped for a moment, just long enough to take a deep breath, and I was overcome by a gorgeous scent coming from somewhere in my garden.
I took a walk around the house, and realised rather quickly, that spring was certainly apon us!

Just take a look at the Grape vine that grows around my verandah.

It was simply gorgeous. I grabbed my camera and started noticing so much more about my little world out here, in the middle of nowhere.

All the rain that we have had has done wonders for the garden, and the acres of plants that call it home. I must admit though, I'm don't have the greenest of thumbs, and the rain has caused some of it to look more like a jungle, and I have a little feeling that it will stay that way for a little while yet.
My whole yard is filled with an abundance of colour and such a wide array of scents! It truly is a gorgeous place to be at the moment. 

Look! My sweet peas are flowering!!!!

Oh and I mentioned Jungle before didn't I??
Yep, Thats my jungle! It is right underneath a gorgeous old rain water tank, so it gets lots of water!

I also found....... BABY CHICKENS!!!! Well, I heard them at least, I couldn't convince Barbara (the mummy hen) to move without possibly pecking me, so I left them for the minute... I also found mamma duck sitting on a nest of about 20 eggs!!!! And they are seriously the most gorgeous ducks in the world!

Are you convinced yet that the world really IS a gorgeous place??

The Story

I like to think that I am lucky. Whilst I have been through a lot in my almost 27 years of life, all of these things have shaped me to be the person that I am today. And I LOVE it.

My Mum got sick when I was a teenager, and it turned into a very long drawn out process of our entire world changing! Mum was sick for 5 years, eventually passing when she 39 years of age. This isn't something I like or enjoy talking about, maybe one day I will be strong enough and brave enough to share her story.
It is however, her story, that has made me think about MY story.

When mum passed, she had planned her funeral for us, which was somewhat nice, but made it so much harder, knowing that we were there to say goodbye to her, when she had planned this as a goodbye to us. My 2 sisters and I carried symbols of life to her casket, and layed them apon - another thing she had organised. I carried a small gum tree branch, as she always loved being outside, grew up on the river and brought her family up on the river banks. My younger sister carried a Willow tree branch, as our driveway, the house she had always dreamed of living in since she was a little girl and eventually got to own, was lined with the most gorgeous Weeping Willows I have ever seen. My babiest sister carried a family photo, with ALL of us in it - mum, dad, myself and the 2 girls, the 2 labradores, her pet cockatoo and her pet black pig!
It was a very memorable moment in my life, and a very touching one.

While I was thinking of her story, I realised, I want to share my Symbols of life NOW, I dont want it to be a representation of me when I'm gone, I want to share life as its happening!

And this is where I am going to do it.
My Symbols of Life, as I LIVE it.