Monday, August 5, 2013

Toyotas are noisy and all the dumb stuff.

In typical Laura style, I couldn't even get through a trip to Sydney for surgery without something dumb happening. 

T'was 8am, the morning after my surgery and I was literally busting my guts open to get in the car and home to my babies. 
We were in the car park, trying to put the enormous amount of the crap that I packed, positive I would need but didn't even use half of, into the car. 
The car wouldn't open. 
It's been happening a lot lately, the keyless not working, and I for some reason decided it was just because it was cold, because it always eventually worked. 

Turns out the battery was actually going flat. And decided to go completely flat whilst in Sydney. 

Me, being clever and stuff, pulled out the emergency key thingy in the keyless thingy and unlocked the door. I was all high fiving myself until the car alarm started. And wouldn't stop!! Turns out using the actual key to get into your car is the same as breaking into it, and Toyotas like to scream their heads off about it! 

After a good 45 minutes of the car yelling and screaming and flashing its lights, and me swearing while the husband, having the brains and all, read the manual, we managed to shut it up. And start the car. And then we drove. And drove. All the while the car telling us that we didn't actually have the key, which was a big fat lie! 

I prayed that we wouldn't stall. The husband prayed that we found a Toyota dealer before we needed to stop for fuel. 
We did the latter, thankfully. 

The moral here? 

Change the freaking batteries! 
And all the dumb stuff happens to me. 

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Keep Calm, There's a Royal Baby.

















So, there has been a Royal Baby born. I know this because it is the only I have seen on facebook, twitter, the news, EVERYWHERE.

It got me thinking of a few years ago when my youngest was born. We had not long moved from one One Horse Town to another and knew almost no one. We knew our everyday baby was on its way and we relied on family to help us out, having two other kids already.

My sister came on my due date, and for the start of 4 day labour. When she left, my inlaws arrived to take on the job. Then my pop called, and thought he might "just duck over for a visit".

"umm, yes you can, but I'm about to have a baby" I said.

"That's ok, I'll fix up those wardrobe doors, they need doing" he replied.

"Yeah, that's ok, but I'm really about to have a baby, like, I'm having contractions now, we'll be going to hospital when they get stronger".

I thought this would put him off. Being the old school manly man that he is, I figured he wouldn't want to be there to witness any of this and would come over at a later date.

I was wrong.

I was in labour for a good few days.

And in this time, I had more visitors than I ever had at my house!

My dad visited for the first time ever, the inlaws came to stay and help, and my pop came, to allegedly hang doors.

This was plenty of audience for me. Watching me waddle around. Grab onto cupboards as a contraction started. Watching me prepare to give birth. Including the frantic dash to pack my hospital bag which I always leave to the last minute.


It was because of this 'experience', that my thoughts turned to Kate last night. All the media. All the exposure. All the audience.

At the end of the day, she is a woman. A woman who just gave birth to her first child. I understand the excitement, I under that she is 'Royal' and that is expected.

 But really, don't we owe any new mum, Royal, celebrity, whatever, a little moment to breathe? A moment to take it all in?



Sunday, July 21, 2013

The shortest, and strongest.


In 2003 I gave birth to what would become the shortest little girl in grade 4.



She wasn't always the shortest, but always in the bottom 3 her entire school life. This year, she somehow managed to skip the growth spurt that the shortest child had and has since taken out the title.



It's no great surprise really, considering her mother is severely lacking in the tall department.



The shortest girl in grade 4 is beautiful, with a smile that makes her entire face shine. She is kind, sometimes too kind for her own good. She is polite and pleasant and creative.



The shortest girl in grade 4 came home from school with a note last week, telling me she has made it through to the cluster carnival in Shot Put.



This pleased me greatly, and has put my mind to rest.



She may be the shortest girl in grade 4, and too kind for her own good,  but at least I know she will be able to pack a mean punch! Which is a highly important skill, if she should ever need to use it.

Friday, July 19, 2013

I am a terrible catholic school parent


The kidlets that occupy my home attend the local catholic school. Well, currently two of the kidlets do. Eventually the 3rd will be there too. Look out when that happens!

The boy has been there for 6 months now. 6 whole months of kindergarten! Don't even get me started on how much it breaks my heart that he is that big.

He's a funny little thing, my boy. He just says things as they are. And see's them as they are.

During his first week at school, he had me in stitches, and I still don't think he understands why.

The boy came home from school one afternoon, and we did our usual with all three kids:

"How was your day?"  - "Good"

"Anything cool happen?"  -  "blah blah blah"


The boy was then asked "So, have you met Father Paul yet? Has he come over and blessed you or anything?"

The reply we got was nothing like I could have ever expected.

"No, I don't sneeze at school".

And there I was. Losing it. At the dining table. The boy unaware of what was so hilarious.






His ability to just see things for exactly what they are... I am jealous.

My ability for being a good catholic parent... clearly failing.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

School holiday sanity savers - activities for children.


School holidays are more often than not a time of dread for me. My kids, all three, home for two whole weeks! They are such busy little creatures that I really need to be on my game to stay a step ahead of them in order to avoid the "I'm bored's". And I know that once they arrive, the fighting and screaming follows not long after!

With week one down, with very arguments, and what one could almost pleasant, here are my hot tips and activities.


* Keep food handy. Because holidays mean everyone is always starving. I keep my fruit bowl brimming so they can graze all day.

* Set the kids up with a pad of coloured origami/craft paper, some scissors and a glue stick. The creativity they can exude is wonderful and your house will soon be decorated in colourful creations!

* Make the most of the sunshine: outside games, walks, trampolines.

* make friends with a builder or the local tech teacher and grab some wood off cuts (they will only be throwing them out so will be happy to have you cart them away), pick up a pack of nails and hand the kids a hammer and let them be creative with a whole new medium! Throw in a pot of wood glue if you have littler people. Great for hand eye coordination, fine motor skills, establishing a hand preference, building muscle tone and creativity!

* Bake up a storm!! Arm yourself with some packet mixes or pull out the cook books and start from scratch. Let the kids go crazy with the decorations.

*Make use of your local library. A lot will also have some great school holiday activities.

* Jump online and print off some colouring pages of your child's favorite characters. These Wonky Donkey colouring sheets are our fav.

* Make blanket cubby houses.

* Have a tea party

* Host a birthday party for a favorite toy, or pet.

* Give the kids a set $ amount to spend on buying something from the store.



Do have a good holiday activity? 

I would love for you to share. Leave a comment or email it thegirlintheredpants@gmail.com and I will add it to the list. 

Thursday, July 4, 2013


Loaded Guns



I haven't blogged for a while. Partly from having a shit load of stuff going on. And partly from laziness.

I have missed it. Immensely. Its almost like I don't know what I think about things until I have read what I have written regarding them.

So here goes. Filling you in whilst working out exactly what I'm thinking and feeling at the same time.



I saw a new doctor yesterday. 
She said what everyone has been trying not to say. 

"Right now you are staring down the barrel at Ovarian Cancer"

Staring down the barrel of a loaded gun, playing Russian roulette. 

Am I going to get the blank? Or the bullet? 

To say I'm not scared shitless would be a lie. A big fat lie. A lie of astronomical proportions. 
And yet I choose to lie. I lie to my friends and family and pretend I'm not absolutely freaking out. I lie and tell them the pain isn't too bad, that I'm sleeping just fine, that I'm not tired, that I'm not scared of having surgery soon. 

I don't tell them about all the late nights I spent knowing something wasn't right, and knowing my original doctor missed something. I don't tell them about the silent tears I shed when I tuck my three kids into bed each night after they have fallen asleep. 
I don't tell them SO much. 
Because the truth is, saying it all out loud, telling them, would make it real. It would make them worry as much as I do. It would make them all treat me as if the gun had fired. 
Most of them already do anyway. 
The less I tell people, the longer I can pretend it's not happening. 

Blissful ignorance.



So here I am. Staring down the barrel of a loaded gun, praying it doesn't go off. Praying it's shooting blanks. 
I won't know until surgery which is scheduled soon. 

In the meantime, I'm praying to a god that I don't even know I believe in.